Why I Stay: Coming to Myself (Part 5)

I've thought often this year that I feel like the Prodigal Son, particularly in the moments when he "came to himself" and realized that he had squandered all he'd been given. I have felt deeply ashamed and also exorbitantly grateful for the goodness of my Heavenly Father; He has carried me as I have in turn "come to myself". 

Coincidentally, (or maybe not so coincidentally), last August I was approached by a girl about my age while at the park with Oliver. She asked if I was religious, and when I said I was, she invited me to a Bible study. I agreed and met with her and her friend Daniela later that week. It quickly became apparent that they wanted me to join their church (which maybe should have been obvious at the outset). They also asked questions about mine and invited me to make a daily habit of studying the Bible. I realized that God had granted me, of all the unlikely people, a missionary opportunity.

Here is a random picture of Oliver for your enjoyment.

These girls knew their Bible backwards and forwards, and I realized that while I knew a lot about the gospel, I still had much more to learn. I was also impressed (and still am) with their devotion to their daily prayer and study. I saw their happiness and their love for God, and they assumed I was on the same faith level as them. I suddenly desperately wanted to be. 

By this point, I had come to the decision that the Church was the place for me. I had been miserable without it, but I was having a hard time getting myself all the way back in. It was still hard to find time for prayer and scripture study and I still had many questions about the gospel. However, I wanted to be able to answer any questions these girls could possibly bring up about my religion, so I started from the beginning. 

I reflected on what I'd learned from the Doctrine and Covenants about Joseph Smith this year. As I thought of all the miracles, faith, and witnesses of the Saints and the Restoration, I realized that I did truly believe Joseph Smith to be a prophet. 

In particular, I listened to a book called "A Case for the Book of Mormon" by Elder Tad R. Callister, a fantastic book for logical thinkers like myself. Elder Callister makes clear that the book does not "create" faith in the Book of Mormon, but it can be a powerful supplement -- and for me it was. I learned about biblical prophecies about the Book of Mormon, about the many "coincidental" (or maybe miraculous) circumstances that surrounded Joseph Smith's call to be a prophet and bringing forth of the Book of Mormon. I learned about ongoing research into the circumstances surrounding Book of Mormon events and locations. Subsequently, my testimony of the Book of Mormon is ten times stronger than it ever has been. 

I had a lot of time for thinking, studying, praying, and journaling while
on a trip to Flaming Gorge with this beauty.

I also learned about the need for prophets, apostles, temples, and priesthood power. I'm currently listening to President Nelson's biography, "Insights From a Prophet's Life". I have come to know that Russell M. Nelson is God's prophet on the earth. 

In short, for the first time in my life, the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints make sense to both my heart and my mind. I have come to not only believe the gospel, but understand it, and with that understanding has come a great love and appreciation for my Savior Jesus Christ. Nothing could have brought me to this point in my life but Him. 

Part 6