This summer has been a difficult one. Lots of change, lots of growth, lots of refining, lots of humbling -- yes, for myself a little, but more so for many others of you: some of you whom I know well, some who are at the periphery of my life, some in between.
Several of you are in the middle of a divorce; some are messy, others relatively civil but still challenging. Some of you are mourning the passing of children, friends, parents, and grandparents. Some have been cheated on. Some are learning to navigate newly-interfaith marriages. Some are struggling to adjust to life far from home and family. Some are struggling to bond with new babies. Some of you are lonely; a few feel betrayed by people who were supposed to love you. Some are finding it difficult to maintain relationships with parents or children or friends or God Himself.
And every time I hear of another trial, another tragedy, my heart weighs a little bit heavier; I feel that many of us are finding little joy in our lives of late; many of us are wondering where to find joy again in a life that looks nothing like we anticipated it to look. I feel for you, and I have been grieving with you.
I want to share some of the things I've been thinking about that bring me a little comfort:
1. Several months ago I saw a TikTok of a girl displaying a beautifully simple tattoo of a vine around her wrist with the letters "YHWH" entwined through it. The caption said something about being able to share her testimony of Jesus every time someone asked her about it, and I was intrigued. After some Googling, I learned that "YHWH", pronounced "Yahweh", is the Hebrew name of Jehovah. If you say it in a whisper, the sound you make is the same sound as when you breathe.
Out. Yah.
In. Weh.
Out. Yah.
In. Weh.
As a newly stay-at-home-mom, I'm learning a lot about regulating emotions (mostly mine). Deep breaths, in and out, is what they tell you to do if you're feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, overrun, or just over it. This is something I'm working on, learning to forstall my natural reactions in hard moments and instead breathe Jesus in, let His Spirit take control, let Him guide my thoughts and my actions.
Parenting struggles aside, I also just love the idea that every breath you take is a literal prayer to Jesus that He will sustain you until the next one.
 |
| In lieu of a tattoo (for now at least), I bought myself this necklace for my birthday a few months ago. |
2. In my current ward I've had the privilege of playing musical numbers in sacrament meeting every couple of months or so, and I've enjoyed the freedom to choose hymn arrangements that really speak to my recent feelings and experiences. For this Sunday, I've been led to an old arrangement of "God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again", one that I haven't played in years. To be honest, it felt like a strange hymn to choose; after all, sacrament meeting is not a funeral. But as I've come to know this hymn better, I've realized it's not really about death, at least not totally.
God be with you 'til we meet again; By His counsels guide, uphold you;
With His sheep securely fold you; God be with you 'til we meet again.
God be with you 'til we meet again; When life's perils thick confound you;
Put His arms unfailing 'round you; God be with you 'til we meet again.
I've felt a little bit helpless bearing witness to so many people around me dealing with so many difficult things, knowing that there is little to nothing I can do to help. I've found some comfort in the reminder that I am human, and that while my imperfect efforts will never be enough on their own, there is One who helps and heals and loves perfectly.
And so I pray that until we meet again, whether it be tomorrow for a playdate, or in 8 years at a very extended family reunion, or much later at Jesus's feet, His counsels will guide you, and His sheep, in whatever corner of the world you find yourself in, will uphold you. I pray that when the perils of your life confound you, He will put His own arms unfailing 'round you.
I pray that God will go with you, until we meet again.
Comments
Post a Comment