Some Thoughts on Charity From Several Months Ago That I Evidently Forgot to Post when I Wrote It But Since I Think My Past Self Had Some Decent Insights Here You Go
I had several experiences this week*, and each of them in their own way emphasized the idea of being kind and having charity for all of God's children. There's no pictures this week but I hope you'll bear with me anyway because this is something I feel really deeply about.
1. The first one involves a friend of mine. We were hanging out and it was late and she was pretty exhausted, and I knew that. She became upset with me for something I said and my first instinct was to be offended, but I apologized anyway and tried not to stew over it. The next morning I was able to talk with her for a good 40 minutes or so, during which time I learned that the extent of her stress and fatigue this week was much greater than I understood it to be. I was so glad that I hadn't allowed myself to react in anger the night before.
2. The second event of the week concerns a boy I sit next to in foods class. Admittedly he has some challenges sitting still and might not be the top of the class, but that's no excuse for the taunts and bullying I listen to daily from his so-called friends behind us. The other day he asked if I would help him with an assignment and I agreed. He proceeded to copy most of my answers. I suggested that he try to work them out on his own first and I could help if he needed it. To my surprise, he agreed rather than becoming frustrated as I expected. I was even more surprised when he went on to get them all right fairly easily. As I thought on this, I came to the conclusion that he never does anything for himself because he's never been told he could, and yet he is capable of so much.
3. My last story involves my date to the Last Chance Dance last night. I met him when I was a sophomore, first in orchestra and then on the cross country team. I admit I didn't like him at first. Here's how he tells the story: "My whole first year in the orchestra I'd look over into the viola section and this girl woukd just be glaring at me and I couldn't figure out why. The first day I came to cross country I saw her there and thought 'oh no, it's that viola girl who doesn't like me'."
He told me that yesterday and I felt so bad. I NEVER want to make someone feel that way again, and in fact never wanted to in the first place but I allowed my dislike of him to get in the way of my good judgement. The story has a happy ending luckily--We're friends now and in fact I'm the one that asked him to the dance. I'd have laughed at you if you'd ever told my sophomore self I'd do that. :)
The moral of these stories is this: you can never judge someone on the surface. In the case of my friend, I should never have been offended because I know her better than I know myself almost, and I know her frustration with me really had nothing to do with me at all. Had I taken a moment to step back, think about her situation and really try to have empathy for her I never would have become angry with her.
In the case of the boy in my foods class, if anyone had ever looked at him and seen his potential he would see it in himself. If he wasn't constantly told he's annoying or stupid he wouldn't be where he is now. It drives me crazy that people can be so unkind. Words are powerful. In fact, every word we say to another person has the potential to change their eternity, whether for good or bad. We need to choose them carefully and be sure they always reflect the mind and heart of God.
In the case of the boy I went out with last night, had I not immediately rejected him based on who I thought he was we may have been friends much sooner and he would never have been afraid to be somewhere I was.
Charity is the most important virtue we can cultivate in ourselves. Every one.of God's children deserves to be loved and appreciated, simply because they are a child of God, never mind their talents or intelligence or temperament. With charity comes empathy, truly doing our best to understand others' experiences. I know as we seek to love others as Christ did, we will have more charity and empathy in our hearts, others will come to understand how much the Savior loves them through the love they receive from us, and we will become more Christlike.
*some random week in April or May
1. The first one involves a friend of mine. We were hanging out and it was late and she was pretty exhausted, and I knew that. She became upset with me for something I said and my first instinct was to be offended, but I apologized anyway and tried not to stew over it. The next morning I was able to talk with her for a good 40 minutes or so, during which time I learned that the extent of her stress and fatigue this week was much greater than I understood it to be. I was so glad that I hadn't allowed myself to react in anger the night before.
2. The second event of the week concerns a boy I sit next to in foods class. Admittedly he has some challenges sitting still and might not be the top of the class, but that's no excuse for the taunts and bullying I listen to daily from his so-called friends behind us. The other day he asked if I would help him with an assignment and I agreed. He proceeded to copy most of my answers. I suggested that he try to work them out on his own first and I could help if he needed it. To my surprise, he agreed rather than becoming frustrated as I expected. I was even more surprised when he went on to get them all right fairly easily. As I thought on this, I came to the conclusion that he never does anything for himself because he's never been told he could, and yet he is capable of so much.
3. My last story involves my date to the Last Chance Dance last night. I met him when I was a sophomore, first in orchestra and then on the cross country team. I admit I didn't like him at first. Here's how he tells the story: "My whole first year in the orchestra I'd look over into the viola section and this girl woukd just be glaring at me and I couldn't figure out why. The first day I came to cross country I saw her there and thought 'oh no, it's that viola girl who doesn't like me'."
He told me that yesterday and I felt so bad. I NEVER want to make someone feel that way again, and in fact never wanted to in the first place but I allowed my dislike of him to get in the way of my good judgement. The story has a happy ending luckily--We're friends now and in fact I'm the one that asked him to the dance. I'd have laughed at you if you'd ever told my sophomore self I'd do that. :)
The moral of these stories is this: you can never judge someone on the surface. In the case of my friend, I should never have been offended because I know her better than I know myself almost, and I know her frustration with me really had nothing to do with me at all. Had I taken a moment to step back, think about her situation and really try to have empathy for her I never would have become angry with her.
In the case of the boy in my foods class, if anyone had ever looked at him and seen his potential he would see it in himself. If he wasn't constantly told he's annoying or stupid he wouldn't be where he is now. It drives me crazy that people can be so unkind. Words are powerful. In fact, every word we say to another person has the potential to change their eternity, whether for good or bad. We need to choose them carefully and be sure they always reflect the mind and heart of God.
In the case of the boy I went out with last night, had I not immediately rejected him based on who I thought he was we may have been friends much sooner and he would never have been afraid to be somewhere I was.
Charity is the most important virtue we can cultivate in ourselves. Every one.of God's children deserves to be loved and appreciated, simply because they are a child of God, never mind their talents or intelligence or temperament. With charity comes empathy, truly doing our best to understand others' experiences. I know as we seek to love others as Christ did, we will have more charity and empathy in our hearts, others will come to understand how much the Savior loves them through the love they receive from us, and we will become more Christlike.
Also, here is my all time favorite picture of the Savior. It epitomizes what charity really is--reaching down to lift others up as Jesus would.
*some random week in April or May
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