Well I've gone a done something I never thought I'd do. I'm sure you'll all be shocked. (Drumroll please...) Here it is: I quit running.
But not in the usual sense of the word quit. I didn't wake up one morning and decide I hated to run. It was much more gradual than that. I skipped practice one day, ran the short route some days, didn't make time for running on especially busy days. And one day I found that that was the norm, that track season had already begun and I wasn't on the team, I wasn't racing or even really running anymore. I didn't mean for that to happen.
Here's what did happen: after Footlocker in December I decided to take a little break, which was not a bad thing. But then I thought the reason I was so relaxed was because I wasn't running, when in actuality it was because it was Christmastime and I wasn't in school. I thought less stress equaled more happiness, but I was wrong.
So I've gone and done something I never thought I'd do: I started running again. I went back to practice and I ran the harder route even when coach gave me an easier option. I made time for it again and I discovered something wonderful: running wasn't adding to my stress, it was relieving it. And that's something I've always known, I'd just forgotten it. But you know what? Heavenly Father didn't. He remembered what I needed, what I loved, what made me happiest. He knew what I needed even when I didn't.
This year has not been an easy one. Even now, as I think of all the blessings I've received from running it doesn't make sense to me to add something else to my endless to-do list. It doesn't make sense, and yet I am truly happy for possibly the first time in months. If I have learned anything this year, it is that taking the easy way out does not bring joy. It may offer temporary relief, but if you live your life that way you'll wake up one day and realize you have no purpose, you've accomplished nothing and have not changed or grown at all.
I wish I could say I just already knew that, but the truth is I didn't. It's something I've been learning all year as I've let one thing go after another. But I've finally woken up and realized that happiness comes from caring. It comes from working hard and embracing new opportunities and being excited for the future rather than scared of it.
So now I'm busier than ever, but also happy because I have learned that Heavenly Father is in control. His plan may not be what I want, but it's what's best. The happiness that comes from His plan doesn't only exist in eternity, it exists NOW because now is part of eternity. We just have to trust Him and be willing to take the hard road sometimes, trusting in better things to come.
But not in the usual sense of the word quit. I didn't wake up one morning and decide I hated to run. It was much more gradual than that. I skipped practice one day, ran the short route some days, didn't make time for running on especially busy days. And one day I found that that was the norm, that track season had already begun and I wasn't on the team, I wasn't racing or even really running anymore. I didn't mean for that to happen.
Here's what did happen: after Footlocker in December I decided to take a little break, which was not a bad thing. But then I thought the reason I was so relaxed was because I wasn't running, when in actuality it was because it was Christmastime and I wasn't in school. I thought less stress equaled more happiness, but I was wrong.
So I've gone and done something I never thought I'd do: I started running again. I went back to practice and I ran the harder route even when coach gave me an easier option. I made time for it again and I discovered something wonderful: running wasn't adding to my stress, it was relieving it. And that's something I've always known, I'd just forgotten it. But you know what? Heavenly Father didn't. He remembered what I needed, what I loved, what made me happiest. He knew what I needed even when I didn't.
This year has not been an easy one. Even now, as I think of all the blessings I've received from running it doesn't make sense to me to add something else to my endless to-do list. It doesn't make sense, and yet I am truly happy for possibly the first time in months. If I have learned anything this year, it is that taking the easy way out does not bring joy. It may offer temporary relief, but if you live your life that way you'll wake up one day and realize you have no purpose, you've accomplished nothing and have not changed or grown at all.
I wish I could say I just already knew that, but the truth is I didn't. It's something I've been learning all year as I've let one thing go after another. But I've finally woken up and realized that happiness comes from caring. It comes from working hard and embracing new opportunities and being excited for the future rather than scared of it.
So now I'm busier than ever, but also happy because I have learned that Heavenly Father is in control. His plan may not be what I want, but it's what's best. The happiness that comes from His plan doesn't only exist in eternity, it exists NOW because now is part of eternity. We just have to trust Him and be willing to take the hard road sometimes, trusting in better things to come.
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